When you have sex for the first time, it is inevitable that you will be nervous and scared. This article helps you understand how to prepare for sex and what to expect to help ensure your "first time" is a positive and safe experience for you and your partner.
Before you have sex
It's normal to feel a little apprehensive when you feel like the stars are making love for your first time. Especially if you're not sure what your purpose is! However, there are many things you can do to mentally prepare for sex.
The most important thing at this stage is to manage your mindset. It's easy to worry about how "good" you will become, but the truth is, no one is an expert the first time they do anything!
Rather than focusing on creating fireworks and the perfect fairytale moment, your introduction to sex should be just about having a positive and safe experience. Keeping this in mind as you prepare to have sex for the first time will help reduce stress.
Study
You probably did some sex education stuff at school, but honestly, it probably wasn't enough to help you feel completely ready. After all, "sex tips for beginners" are usually not covered!
Luckily, there's a lot out there for you to read and watch, which can help you get ready for the proverbial cherry pop.
First, it can be tempting to start watching porn with a laptop in hand. However, it's important to know that porn often doesn't give the impression of real sex, and many of the "techniques" used by porn actors are for the camera and not for intimacy.
On the other hand, reading erotica can help your sex life thrive. Can help you learn more about what excites you and what doesn't, and makes you feel more at ease with the idea of having sex.
Another thing that can make sex less scary for beginners is feeling like you know what you're doing. As before, no one is an expert for the first time, and like most things, sex takes practice! Take some time to learn what your "erogenous zones" are and how to stimulate them, why foreplay is so important, how to perform oral sex, or how to attack someone with a vulva.
If you're getting into anal for the first time, our beginner's guide to anal sex will give you a low-key low profile.
Please yourself
Before you have sex for the first time, it's helpful to know what you like and what feels good for you. Take some time to explore your body - single player never hurt anyone!
If you have a vulva and you are planning to have sex with someone with a penis for the first time, it may help you to try penetration. Try using an internal vibrator, like a rabbit. There are so many different types to choose from, it can be a little intimidating! Luckily, our sex experts are on hand to explain how to use rabbit vibrators and why they're so great.
Have a penis? Why not try to please yourself with a stroking device? Alternatively, if you are experiencing anal action for the first time, you can also use a butt plug to experience what it feels like to be plugged in.
It's important to know that for anal, you must use a butt-specific toy. They have a flared base to avoid any mishaps - our butt plug guides can help.
Go shopping
Before you start, it's a good idea to have some supplies.
Protection is essential for sexual contact! Condoms are a great all-rounder if you're having sex with someone who has a penis. If you or your partner are allergic to latex, you can still use condoms. Just choose a non-latex variety.
If you plan to have oral sex with someone with a vulva, a dental dam might be the way to go. This is a small piece of latex (or similar material) that you can put on your vulva (or anus!) before going downtown.
Another thing to add to your shopping list is lube. Lube makes everything better. If your mattress mambo may involve penetration, spraying on something slippery will make it easier and more comfortable for both sides. Lubricants can also help enhance sensation.
Finally, some sexy lingerie can help you stay ahead of the game. We have countless options for all genders, body types and styles!
During sex
The lights are dim, the air is full of lust, and the kiss has a naughty edge...
This is it. It's time to start your new life.
Before you start, make sure you and your partner are on the same page. Agree is sexy and important!
Comminicate
Your partner needs to know this is your first time. Knowing them means you can make sure you both agree and can help you feel comfortable and safe.
Communicating your feelings is the best way to have an enjoyable experience. Sex shouldn't be painful - even for beginners - so if you do feel pain, tell your partner so you can both slow down, change positions, use more lube or Try other methods.
It also helps keep you safe. Remember, it's okay to change your mind -- even if you've already started. It's never too late to stop, and if you withdraw your consent, your partner must respect that.
This goes both ways. If your partner asks you to stop, you must stop immediately, even if you are having fun personally.
Remember, if your partner is also new to sex, they may be reluctant to ask you to stop even if they want you to. That's why communication is so important - keep checking with your partner how they're feeling, if they're okay, and if they want you to do anything different.
Use lubricating oil
No matter what's in your pants, lube can make everything better. More fun and easier penetration (if that's your thing) makes it a win-win!
Keep protected
It's important that you and your squeeze stay safe. If at least one of you has a penis, you should use a condom for oral sex and penetration. This is important even if you have a vulva and are on birth control! If you are unprotected or your partner refuses to use it... reschedule.
Go slow
There is absolutely no rush when it comes to losing your virginity or having sex. Take your time！
If you need to stop, stop and don't feel guilty about it.
It's not about having the best night of your life - it's about introducing sex into your life in a positive and safe way. Relax, breathe, and enjoy the moment.
After sex
You did it!
There are so many different feelings after having sex for the first time. A lot of people wonder what the big deal is and why they keep worrying, and others still feel a little overwhelmed.
There's no right or wrong feeling, but if you fall into the latter camp, treat yourself well. Be sure to connect a lot with your partner afterwards, talk about what happened, and comfort each other when needed.
Best Sex Positions For Beginners
While there is no such thing as a "normal" sex position, some positions are easier than others for beginners.
If you have a vulva and are having sex with someone who has a penis, one of the easiest sex positions is to have you on it. This allows you to control the depth and angle of penetration as well as the speed. People with penises, don't start penetration if your partner is in the lead! Let them get used to how you feel first.
Another of our favorite easy sex positions is missionary with a pillow. To do this, the person being entered lies on their back with their legs apart and a pillow or two under their hips. Adding a pillow helps support your spine and deepens the angle of penetration. Again, make sure you start slowly and continue with your partner.
These give you great feel, great control, and don't make you feel like you're in a yoga class.
Happy hump!