In a sexual relationship, clitoral stimulation is important, and clitoral stimulation is where it stands in terms of orgasmic potential. For many people with a vulva, clitoral stimulation is necessary for them to orgasm. Clit stimulation is a key component of an orgasmic, exciting sexual experience. Most people need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm. Not all sexual positions are effective in stimulating the clitoris. So what we're talking about today is how to get clitoral stimulation, and which sex positions or adult sex toys can provide it!
What is the clitoris?
Before we start stimulating the clitoris, let's figure out what it is. The clitoris is the erect part of the anatomy of the vulva, located at the front of the vulva. One of the cool things about the clitoris is that its only function is to provide sexual pleasure. Unlike saying that the penis or vagina both play a role in reproduction, the clitoris is really just there to make you happy.
The clitoris is very sensitive. The glans of the clitoris (the part visible from the outside of the body) is filled with nerve endings. A lot of people say it has 8,000 nerve endings, but this little tidbit comes from research on cows, so that number may not be for people. It has a lot of nerve endings anyway.
Where is the clitoris?
A lot of people act like the clitoris is hard to find, but - spoiler alert! --really not. It is located under the hood (aka the clitoral hood) where the inner labia meet at the front of the body. When you stand up, it's in front of the vagina and urethra (this is where the urine comes out, not the vagina. Spread the word!). If you want to be precise, the clitoris is usually anywhere between 2.5 and 4 cm from the entrance to the vagina.
That being said, the clitoris is a bit like an iceberg: a little bit that you see from the outside, and then a lot more beneath the surface. The part that can be seen from the outside is just the tip of the clitoris! The rest forms a wishbone shape, with the legs running along the sides of the vagina and extending about 5 inches to the body.
How can I increase my clitoral stimulation?
Before we get into sex positions, let's talk about how you can get more clitoral stimulation.
● Adding Sex Toys: A lot of great sex toys—especially vibrators—are made for this purpose! Whether you need stimulation pinpointed at the tip of the clitoris or broader stimulation to help get all of its parts, there is a vibrator that can help.
● Try to have someone's hands free for stimulating sexual positions: as you'll see later, when we start talking about positions, the clitoris is not always stimulated as part of penetration, it can be as much as adopting positions Simple Your (or your partner's) hand is free to provide some additional clitoral stimulation.
● Grind it: Grinding is a very effective way to stimulate the clitoris. Whether it's on a partner's body or a piece of furniture, grinding can do wonders for the clitoris.
Use props: Sometimes it's to create the ideal environment for clitoral stimulation, and props can help you get into (and stay in) the ideal position.
How long does clitoral stimulation take?
There is no one answer to this question. Really, it takes as long as possible, and it can be different for everyone. Some people may need 30 seconds, while others may need 30 minutes. There is no right or wrong answer. Listen to your body and give it the stimulation or foreplay it needs.
Best position for clitoral stimulation
CAT (Coital Alignment Technique)
This is a clitoral stimulation classic! This is basically a missionary adjustment that maximizes the potential for clitoral well-being. Receptive partner is lying on his back, penetrating partner's body position is higher than when traditional missionary. This allows the receiving partner to rub the penetrating partner's pubic bone, and it allows the penetrating penis (penis or dildo) to rub against the clitoris. It's more about grinding, rubbing, and rocking than pushing it all out, and the receiving partner can try squeezing their legs a little closer, or wrapping their feet around their partner's shins to find what works best.
Doggy style
This falls under the category of "places where hands are freed for clitoral stimulation". The receiving opponent lands on his hands and knees, while the penetrating opponent enters from behind. You can have the inserted partner use their hands or toys to stimulate the clitoris, or the accepting partner can lower their boobs onto the bed or put their upper body on a mat so their arms are free to pursue clitoral pleasure!
Table
Don't let the name fool you, you don't have to do this on the table (but you totally can, you do!). The catching partner lies on the edge or on a bed, sofa, table, or other stable surface, while the penetrating partner stands in front of them. Both partners can stimulate the clitoris with their hands or toys, while the penetrating partner can try leaning forward to increase clitoral friction (in a good way!). Bonus: There's a lot of potential for intimacy and sexy eye contact in this face-to-face position.
Cross
This is really just a variation that can be added to any gender position where the receiving partner's legs are over the penetrating partner's shoulders (missionary, tabletop, etc.). The receiving partner lies on his back and lifts his legs toward the ceiling. The penetrating partner is either standing or kneeling. They then enter the receiving partner, who then, keeping the legs as straight as possible, carefully crosses the legs at the ankles or calves. This will create a tighter feeling for the inserted partner and possibly add some friction to the receiving partner's clitoris. If flexibility allows, you can add friction by leaning your penetrating partner forward.
Butterfly
It's like an advanced variant of the desktop. The receiving partner is lying on his back with his mouth on the edge of the bed or sturdy table. Penetrating partners stand before them. Then the receiving partner lifts the hips and places the legs on the active partner's shoulders (you can also use a pillow or gender positioning wedge to keep the receiving partner comfortable). The partner inserting from here can grab the leg while inserting, while the receiving partner can stimulate the clitoris.
Lotus
Want lovely intimacy, deep penetration and clitoral stimulation in one spot? Then this one is for you! The penetrating partner sits cross-legged or straight on the bed or floor. The receiving partner straddles them and lowers himself, with both partners wrapping their arms together. Focus on rubbing against each other, and if you want to stimulate the clitoris further, have the receiving partner wiggle their pelvis up and down.
Cowboy
Another classic! Penetrating partners lie flat on their backs with their legs straight.
Receivers keep their knees at their sides, face their head and control the movement to find the best speed, depth and penetration angle for them. Take clitoral stimulation to the next level by finding the ideal angle of grinding (you'll know it when you feel it) or by using your partner's hand or a toy.
Reverse bull fork
Now let's turn things around! Penetrating partners lie flat on their backs with their legs straight.
The receiving partner steps across them, facing their feet and controlling the movement. The penetration angles here are different than in Cowpoke, so explore what feels best. You can stimulate the clitoris again with your hands or a toy.
Side saddle
OK, so this variant might sound weird, but trust us, it's going to feel great! The penetrating partner lies on their back with one leg in a knee-bent position and feet on the floor. The receiving partner stands on top, facing the feet as in a reverse bull fork, and slides down onto the penetrating partner, their body leaning toward the bent leg, allowing that leg to rub against the clitoris with each movement.
V is for victory!
Lie on your back with your legs hanging in the air, forming a wide "V" shape. The penetrating partner enters them and positions themselves so that their upper arms are pressed against the receiving partner's calf. Either side can increase the intensity by grabbing the receiver's ankle. If flexibility allows, the penetration partner can press forward and down to hit the clitoris with each thrust. Alternatively, the penetration partner can go deeper and stay there, focusing on rocking, circular, or up-and-down motions while their pelvis presses against the clitoris.
Guys, here you go! Whether you're just starting out figuring out this clitoral problem, or you're a seasoned clitoral stimulator, here's a spot that will help you take it to the next level. Remember, when you try, you want to communicate with each other, be comfortable, and most importantly, have fun!
We talked a lot today about the best sex positions that allow you to stimulate your clitoris with sex toys, so now might be a good time to consider picking one up. From big stick massagers to small but powerful bullet vibrators, here's a selection of adult sex toys ready, willing and able to help you stock up on everything you need to explore and experiment with clitoral ecstasy.